It is important to realise that no one knows what you will encounter. It may surprise you, it may disappoint you. You may be happy with it, you may be shocked by it. It is what it is. I have no influence over it. Nor is it my responsibility. If you choose an ancestor ritual, you have to deal with whatever comes up.

No ancestor is obliged to be present. If an ancestor does not wish to be present, it will not happen. I have no influence over that either. It may also be that an ancestor, for some reason unknown to us, hardly wants to reveal anything about themselves.

It is not unusual for an ancestor to initially wonder whether he or she is a man or a woman, and why he or she is experiencing a certain emotion. Often, a lot is happening inside an ancestor, but little of it is expressed outwardly. These are subtle energies. Ancestors generally do not use many words.

Do not expect to be able to communicate with an ancestor in the same way you are used to with a normal, present person. The ancestor slowly emerges into the representative's consciousness and can reveal something about themselves. The facilitator helps you and the ancestors with this, mainly by asking questions.

Ancestors have their own lives, problems and attitudes to life. These may be very different from yours. You may encounter ancestors who are not positive or even negative in their outlook. Some ancestors emerge in a state of fear and trauma. The ancestor ritual can sometimes bring about change in this regard. Sometimes this is clearly noticeable, and the ancestor will indicate this themselves. However, this is not always clear. It is important that ancestors feel safe. If we approach those who come forward with love and compassion, they will be more inclined to reveal something of themselves than if we hide our feelings for them or if we are overly analytical.

You can assume that every ancestor who appears has a reason for doing so. It is good to give the ancestor the opportunity to express themselves.

What definitely won't happen: an ancestor will not walk around. An ancestor always remains in his or her place. When a negative ancestor comes forward, the facilitator will clearly tell him or her to stay in place. Ancestors want to feel safe, and so do you, of course. So even if a negative ancestor presents himself, he or she will not be able to cause any harm.

To an ancestor, you are very real, and an ancestor may feel a greater or lesser connection with you. An ancestor knows very well that you are there. I have experienced an ancestor who asked the person for whom the ritual was intended to make a place for him in his home. Then I would always put something in the place for the ancestors at home that would remind me of that particular ancestor. Ancestors feel that, they feel how you react, how you are, even afterwards. An ancestor may come who needs your attention and shows this by asking such a question. You don't just look at your ancestors, they can also look at you when they focus their attention on you. Usually you won't notice this because they are busy with their own lives.

Ancestors, as they appear, are primarily the people they were on a subtle level. This means that their human camouflage is not present. For example, if someone had a domineering character that they camouflaged, in a constellation the domineering character will emerge without that concealment.

You can also assume that everything that happens is helpful for you, for your ancestors, or for both. The event is not random. The constellation with the ancestors is guided and takes place from the spiritual world. It is not an event for onlookers. Less attractive or desirable traits may come to the fore because it is meant to be helpful, and we deal with it without judgement and with love. We do this in the same way we would deal with ourselves if we encountered things about ourselves in a constellation.