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Your questions to ancestors

Your questions at the start of the ritual

The first place where you can ask questions is at the start of the actual ritual, once the stones have been laid out. In the thematic ancestor constellation, you will name the theme and ask ancestors who are connected to this theme in some way to come forward. This could be because they are struggling with the theme themselves, because they have struggled with the theme and overcome it, or because they can help with it.

You can always ask ancestors to pass on messages to you or to help you. You can ask this in general, without thinking of a specific theme or having a particular situation in mind. You can also ask ancestors who need help themselves and for whom a constellation in an ancestral ritual could be helpful to come forward. You can also invite ancestors to reveal something about themselves.

You can use the following format for the thematic ritual ancestor constellation:

I am … (first name).

I invite my mother/father, my grandmother/grandfather on my mother's/father's side, and their ancestors up to the tenth generation to be present here.

Ancestors, welcome.

I would like to ask ancestors who can help me in some way to come forward.

I am struggling with a problem concerning … (Describe what it is about in 2-3 sentences. You can also choose to name a few keywords and present them.)

Ancestors, if you feel connected to this issue in any way, I would like to ask you to come forward in this constellation.

(Or, if you prefer to call it a theme: I would like to focus on the theme of ... (describe what it is about in 2-3 sentences. You can also choose to name a few keywords and present them).

Ancestors, if you feel connected to this theme in any way, I would like to ask you to come forward in this constellation.)

I would like to ask ancestors who have a message for me to come forward.

I would like to ask ancestors to come forward to reveal something about themselves.

You can use the following format for the general ritual ancestor constellation:

I am … (first name).

I invite my father, my mother, both my grandmothers and both my grandfathers, and their ancestral lines going back ten generations.

Ancestors, welcome.

I would like to ask ancestors who can help me in some way to come forward.

I would like to ask ancestors who have a message for me to come forward.

I would like to ask ancestors to come forward to reveal something about themselves.

I would also like to invite ancestors who could use help from a constellation to come forward.

You bring these questions into the field by voicing them. Do not expect any ancestor to explain your problem or theme, or to give you useful tips. That is not how it works. An ancestor says something about themselves. Perhaps you will occasionally recognise your theme or problem in this. That may be enough to have a positive effect. The ritual can set stuck energies in motion. There is a process and it takes time. The helping energies of guides and spiritual companions know better than we do what is needed in this.

At the beginning of the ritual constellations, the facilitator noted that a certain theme had repeatedly come up in a constellation. That is why I started calling that constellation the thematic ancestor constellation. The theme that the facilitator was referring to did not come from the person for whom the ritual was intended. This person had mentioned a certain issue at the start. However, the theme that caught the facilitator's attention became clear because many ancestors came forward who were unaware or only vaguely aware of their ancestral position. That was the theme on that occasion, and it was presented from the spiritual world, not from the questioner. The questioner's theme was also addressed, but in an indirect way.

Your questions during representation

You know when I start representing, which is when I have taken over the stone from you. When I am representing and you want to address the ancestor, you must always address the ancestor directly. This means that you say ‘you’ or ‘your’ to the ancestor.

It is important that questions are not asked about the ancestor, but to the ancestor, because this can greatly influence the process of representing. If communication is about the ancestor, it hinders the process of representing, and may even prevent it from working.

That can be quite difficult for you because just before that I was simply Edith. I am making room inside. When you address the ancestor directly, you bring the ancestor to the forefront of your consciousness. But you see Edith in front of you, that is the difficult part. Be aware that once you have given me the stone, it is now the ancestor. People who are familiar with constellations know this.

When you ask a question, an ancestor needs time to become aware of the subject of that question. The best way to imagine this is that a piece of consciousness emerges from an ancestor. That piece can become larger if an ancestor is helped by questions that connect with him or her.

If it is not clear, you can always ask whether it is a man or a woman. If you think you know and find the question unnecessary, you can consider checking your assumption, for example: “I think you are a woman/man, is that correct?”

The facilitator will also help in expressing an ancestor.

Some other tips are: try to approach an ancestor from the perspective of the life they lived, rather than from the moment of this constellation, because that will not give you any information about the life they lived. It is also best to consider the ancestor as still being in that life in spirit. Ask questions in the present tense, about how things are, rather than how they were. Sometimes an ancestor will speak in the past tense. In that case, you can follow suit. Keep your questions close to the ancestor's reality and try to empathise with their life through your questions.

It may happen that at some point you find it difficult, or that you don't know what to do with an ancestor. The facilitator is always there to help you. When I am representing, i.e. when an ancestor is present, you can always turn to the facilitator and discuss something with him or her. You are allowed to talk about the ancestor, because you are not talking to the ancestor, but to the facilitator. If you find it difficult to ask an ancestor a question yourself, you can also ask the facilitator to do so for you.

Tip: Ordinary people

You may think that ancestors are in a higher spiritual consciousness because they no longer reside on Earth. That is not the case. This is because you are connecting with the person they were, not with their soul or their higher self. So the ancestor who comes forward is the ancestor as they were in that life. That is why you cannot expect insights and helpful advice about your current problems. Ancestors come forward from their own lived lives, with a sense of the present, because that is who they are.