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Constellation alone with a theme

It would be wonderful if you had a method for incorporating a theme into a constellation by yourself, without needing anyone else’s help. That way, you could easily use it more often. It helps you develop in many ways. I don’t need to promote this; I assume that’s already well known. In doing so, you’re also practising in the subtle realm. Perhaps you hadn’t thought of that yet.

A constellation with a theme without facilitation means that you look at how you relate to it. The theme is placed there but not constellated.

If you do a constellation with a theme on your own, the aim is to introduce dynamics into it. You can, of course, position yourself and place the theme somewhere in the room, but then you still lack dynamics, movement. You can introduce movement by dividing the position you can take when you are alone – that is your own position – into several positions.

Below, I will briefly discuss the division of yourself into positions that can create movement.

Positions: the child, the parent, the adult, the wise one

The obvious breakdown is as follows: the child within, the parent within, the adult within, the wise one within.

Once again, the basic materials are: pieces of paper with these four roles and an arrow written on them, a piece of paper with the theme written on it but without an arrow, as this is not constellated but simply laid down. Four stones for the four positions to be constellated. Pen and paper for notes within easy reach. You lay out the four positions to be constellated and the theme, place the four stones on the four positions to be constellated, and you start with the position of the child within yourself. Then the parent within yourself, then the adult within yourself, then the wise one within yourself, then the next round all over again, and so you keep doing rounds. If a position wants to move itself, you do that; then you follow that movement.

Percentage exercise using the child, parent, adult and wise one framework

You can also do a percentage exercise beforehand with this framework. The percentage exercise is explained under the heading ‘Insight through percentage exercises’ in the ‘Subtle exercises’ section. Once you have read that, you will probably know enough to apply the percentage exercise to the categories of child within myself, parent within myself, adult within myself and wise one within myself. You can also choose a theme for the percentage exercise. Themes could include family, work, relationships, and so on. The question then is:

“To what percentage is my behaviour (possibly: in the family, at work, in relationships or wherever you wish to look) determined by the child within me?”

Next, you begin to draw the circle and see how far your hand is willing to go.

You also ask this question for the other three positions.

You can also write the four positions on pieces of paper, fold them up and mix them up so that you no longer know which position is on which piece of paper. You then take a paper in your free hand and ask the question: “To what extent (possibly: within the family, at work, in relationships, or wherever you wish to look) is my behaviour determined by the position I am currently holding in my hand?” You draw the part of the circle that wants to be drawn and place the paper so that you know later which one you picked first, the next one second, and so on. Once you have gone through all four positions, you check which position is on which paper, so that you know how strongly each position is influencing you at the moment (in relation to your theme).

Positions female and male

Another way of arranging your own positions when constellating a theme is to divide them into female and male. So, one piece of paper with a stone and an arrow, labelled ‘male’. Another piece of paper with a stone and an arrow, labelled ‘female’. And a piece of paper with the theme written on it. This arrangement is less dynamic than the other constellations I have already mentioned. I noticed that when I followed the female and male division, unlike in the previously mentioned constellations, I had to actively ask questions and make suggestions, because otherwise they tended to remain in the posture and situation they initially indicated. They moved only slightly, if at all, of their own accord. I was able to address this by asking questions, making suggestions and actively involving them with one another. This set in motion a beautiful movement towards one another, reinforcing and supporting each other. Very valuable. However, with the constellation based on a theme and these two positions, I, as the facilitator, did have to play a clear role myself. So, apart from tuning into each of the two positions, I also had to be my own facilitator.

A brief explanation of thematic constellations

The exercise you can do on your own, in which you incorporate a theme, does not replace a thematic constellation but is something different, as you are simply placing yourself in multiple positions. In a genuine thematic constellation, you also examine the theme itself. If you wish to do this, you will always need guidance.

I have explained a small thematic constellation involving tuning in elsewhere; see the section ‘Guided constellations’. I do not conduct larger thematic constellations involving more people myself, and these are not explained on this website. To give you an idea of what this involves if you are unfamiliar with it: in a thematic constellation within a larger group, several people act as representatives at the same time. You can then observe how all these different characters connected to your theme, and the representation of the theme itself, interact with one another, and what they do and say. That is, of course, extremely interesting.

Other options for dynamics when you're on your own

Below are other dynamic movements you can incorporate if you’re on your own and want to include a theme. For each position, take a separate sheet of paper with an arrow on it. Place the theme separately without an arrow, as you won’t be standing on it. Tune into the positions. Explanations regarding this have already been provided in the sections above. I have not yet tried out the dynamic movements listed below myself. Dynamics can arise from: characteristics, needs, life situations, physical parts, three major formative influences, roles, life stages, ages as a child, and ages you have gone through.

Characteristics

The doer
The thinker
The observer

Needs

Need for contact
Need for recognition/appreciation
Need for solitude
Need for expression
Need for security
Need for dynamism

Life situations

Place of residence
Work (study)
Leisure time
Social contacts
Family

Physical parts

Left side of the body
Right side of the body

See the case study below.

Three major formative influences

From my character (as shaped by your past)
From my outlook on life/inspiration (your future, goal, ideal)
From my heart (your here-and-now compassion)

Roles

The partner
The worker
The parent
The acquaintance
The neighbour/friend
Being with yourself

Life stages

Baby
Toddler
Preschooler
Young child
Adolescent
Young adult
Adult
Middle-aged
Elderly
Old

Ages as a child

Foetus
0-1
2-3
4-5
6-7
8-9
10-11
12-13
14-15
16-17

Ages you have gone through

0-7
8-14
15-21
and so on

The inner world and the outer world

We look outwards (from the inner world to the outer world) and see ourselves as fixed and the outside world as in motion. With learning, it’s the other way round: the outside is your lesson, your classroom, which is just right and tailored to you. The question is how you’re going to move within it: what are you going to learn from it? How are you going to grow in this? What clutter will you encounter to clear away, what qualities will you develop and focus on? The outside is fixed; you are the one moving.

Order of laying out positions

If you don’t look at the papers, it doesn’t matter. If you do look, I prefer to lay out the positions first and the theme last. In any case, make sure the theme is fixed and that you have already written it down on a piece of paper before you lay out the positions.

Case: Right side and left side of the body

In a constellation involving the roles of child, parent, adult and wise one within myself, the feeling of a difference between the right and left sides of my body also emerged in the ‘adult’ position. It presented itself briefly. I hadn’t addressed it at the time because I hadn’t constellated those positions. But as a result, that division between the right side of my body and the left side of my body had piqued my interest. Without giving it much further thought, I decided to use the division into right and left positions for the next theme I had devised: the theme of ‘house’. Required: paper with an arrow and a stone for the right side of the body, paper with an arrow and a stone for the left side of the body, paper with 'house' on it. I laid out the three pieces of paper. It turned out that the right side was standing with its back to the theme, and so was the left. I stood on the right side of my body and picked up the stone. The right side didn’t want to participate. Okay. Then I won’t ask why not, because that’s already participating. I stood on the left side of the body and picked up the stone. The left side didn’t want to participate either. So I placed this stone down neatly too and asked nothing more, but released the stones from their task. End of the constellation. Afterwards, I did the constellation with the theme ‘house’ using the male and female positions, and that went fine.

Afterwards, I was left with the question: what about the positions 'right side of the body' and 'left side of the body'? Why hadn’t they indicated anything? Why didn’t they both want to participate in a constellation, whereas I had felt the right and left positions in an earlier constellation, with the ‘adult within myself’ position? Then I had an idea: I’m going to ask the ‘inner wise one’. I took a piece of paper with an arrow and ‘wise one within myself’, the piece of paper with ‘right side of the body’ and the piece of paper with ‘home’, and one stone. I laid the papers down and as I did so I thought: oh no, now the wise one within myself will also stand with her back to it and won’t want to take part. But fortunately that wasn’t the case. The wise one lay with her arrow pointing between the two pieces of paper, ‘right side of the body’ and ‘house’. The three pieces of paper together formed a nice triangle. The arrow on the right side pointed outwards; it was standing there with its back turned again, but that was to be expected. I hadn’t laid out ‘left side of the body’ because perhaps the wise one had something different to say about right and left. I would do the left side next. The wise one’s answer regarding the right side of the body came quickly: the right side of the body is a processing system that does not deal with external matters; it only handles matters that play out internally. It knows nothing of the outside. Okay, that’s clear. That naturally applies to the left side of the body as well. So I don’t need to place that one anymore.

I’ll come back with some ideas on how to use the right side and left side positions. I still need to work that out.

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